Blow awy those winter blues lol

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MANOFKENT
Posts: 2673
Joined: January 12th, 2007, 1:49 am
Location: CHATHAM

Blow awy those winter blues lol

Post by MANOFKENT » September 14th, 2013, 11:09 am

With the onset of approaching winter, have a chuckle with this:


A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and
sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must
be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and
asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"

"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the
money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus"

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the
three tests?"

"You gotta' pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."

So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10
which he stuffs into the jar.

"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:

First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or
less, and you can't make a face while doing it."


"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth. You
have to remove that tooth with your bare hands."


"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex. You
have to take care of that problem."


The man is stunned! "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot! I
won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila and then
do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says,
"Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.
Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he
drinks it in 58 seconds!

Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained
to a pole. Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming,
and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back
into the bar. His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites
and gashes all over his body. He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old
woman with the bad tooth?"

User avatar
MANOFKENT
Posts: 2673
Joined: January 12th, 2007, 1:49 am
Location: CHATHAM

Re: Blow awy those winter blues lol

Post by MANOFKENT » September 14th, 2013, 11:17 am

Or how about one of those annoying times someone p***es you off using their mobile phone:


After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him
pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart.
It's Sue. I'm on the train". "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty,
but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".
"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,


"Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."


Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.

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